Paramedics and EMTs can be staring down a life-or-death situation in the blink of an eye. If you have a youngster interested in fighting fires and fire trucks, then share these jokes for a few laughs. "I dont understand how firefighters can trust a ladder Theyre always up to something. Why dont firefighters have split ends? 1. Another thing that might seem amusing is their bravery - you know, most of us arent half as brave as these ladies and gents, and to the regular folk, their thrill-seeking might seem a bit comical. Why do firefighters help to remove cats and other animals from out of trees? Velcro. What do you do when you see a fireman?You put it out, man. The cop brags, I'm the fastest one out of the three. Utinsel. One liner tags: life, puns. On his first day of work, she wanted to check in on him so she called 911 and reported a fire at her home. What does CHAOS stand for? What gift did the fireman's son get as his Christmas gift? Looking for funny firefighter jokes? I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. The firefighter took part in the game show and reached the final. How do you know that a firefighter is really good at their job? Wanna slide down my pole? THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY firefighter JOKES: 1 - The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. Some other famous Americans who were firefighters were George Washington, Alexander Hamilton, John Hancock, Samuel Adams and Paul Revere. May Day. The teacher asked everyone to take their seats and sit quietly, then asked Johnny to step into the hall. One liner tags: family, insults, rude, sarcastic. What's the difference between an arsonist and a firefighter? He's over the moon. "I found the perfect match!" Q: Whats on every fire department menu? How do you know that someone might grow up to become a firefighter? A fireman kicks down the door of a house and carries the family out 1 by 1, but there is no fire. As short as possible. Which type of fire is the wrong one to call the fire department over? After an hour of intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. ""I have to leave work," I told my boss, "my wife is stuck in a house fire!" Why was the pandemic bad for the firefighters?Because they had to work in their homes! 93. Noah who? A: Just in case the sauce on taco Tuesday was too fiery. Q: What did they call Bob the firefighter? Q: Why did the firemen need ear plugs to fight a fire at the tennis equipment factory? Theyre the only person there who actually understands the fire. The Funniest Firefighter Jokes What are you doing?, The little boy says Im pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!. 2. You're my perfect match. A fire-fighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. This officer can be likened to a small puppy - he runs around excitedly, leaving little messes for other people to clean up. Girl in the bar: What do you do for a living?. 50 One-Liner Jokes That'd Leave You Rolling | Inspirationfeed Q: Do firefighters have to train to jump higher than a fire hydrant? Funny As Hell Sayings:Exercise, Group 2. But after that, it was just hit the ball, drag the Chief, hit the ball, drag the Chief.. What did they call Bob the firefighter?Bob. Do you want to hit one a firefighter guy or girl? Q. What do you call the heroic fireman who was featured on the evening TV news? Your love gives me heartburn. Firefighter jokes one liners. Why did the fireman resign from the department? What is the name of the machine that firemen used to detect any fire?The fire distinguisher! Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove . Whats inside most home fire extinguishers? I sold my vacuum the other day. ", "My brother had been trying to climb the ladder at work for years now, and he was still miserable at it. Retirement Speech Tips with One Liners and Jokes - Presentation Magazine What was the name of the firefighter who was also a famous soccer coach?His name was Hose Mourinho! Why do calendars contain so many pictures of sexy firefighters? A: There was a traffic JAM. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. A man was trapped in a burning building and a firefighter yelled through the window, "You have two possible exit points, this ladder or the stairs." What should one do when a firefighter offers a person two ways to leave a house?The person should always go for the ladder! The firefighter says "you were there, how did this whole thing get started?!" A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Military personnel share amazing one-liners from drill instructors. A: Holy smokes! Why did the man hug the fire exit and said everything was ok?It had a sign that said it was alarmed. 309 Insults One Liners - The funniest insults jokes - OneLineFun.com When there is a trailer fire, what is the first thing to get off from the fire truck?A lawn chair! And some of these descriptions are not retirement jokes! 4652 Funny One Liners - Funniest Short Jokes - OneLineFun.com How can one tell that there is a firefighter at a party? Three . As a matter of fact, I started out the first three holes at 4 under par, including a eagle on the 3rd.. Firefighter Jokes - Clean Firefighter Jokes - Fun Kids Jokes Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". Please enter your email to complete registration. Q: Why was the firefighter always carrying a calendar with him? Wisdom and advice. He was a real prose before hose kinda guy. Pilgrims. What comes after a dragon lights his birthday candles? Anyone can write on Bored Panda. and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. When are firefighters best at getting out of the fire station quickly?In the middle of the night, when they are fast asleep. How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? Well, the Chief had a heart attack and died on the 4th hole, he said. Give a a fire company 3 new tools to try out and after 30 minutes . She said he was too spontaneous. "Whenever I ask my firefighter sister how her job is going, she always replies that her job is lit! (Closed), I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics). Why are there no picnic baskets at fire stations? In the mountains, they say 'there are no friends on a powder day'. " He's an accountant !" May 13, 2021 - Firefighters think they are funny- might be the only thing keeping them sane on the job. How do you spot a firefighter at a neighborhood barbecue? *and the family? You're a hunk'a burnin' love. The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in". Poor little Jimmy then breaks into tears and wails "my father is dead !" The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. Youre a hunka burnin love. 180 School J okes Fireman Jokes More Fireman Jokes I tried being a fireman but I suffered burnout. What is the one thing that firefighters save during a fire?They always save the foundation! He's the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, but I was too embarrassed to say that.". What did the directions to the fire department ladder say? His name is Nathan Abe (initials NA) and he is firefighter, a second later a arsonist girl named Clair Laurence (initials CL)walks into the bar. What was the thing that firefighters happen to say when the church caught on fire in the small town?They all said, "Holy Smoke!". Because it would be witchcraft if they were going all the way up the pole. 101 Funny One-Liners Best One-Liner Jokes - Parade Take away one part of the fire tetrahedron, or the chief. Please feel to send me your suggestions and feedback through the contact form. Tweet. Funny Firefighter Jokes - BEST FUNNY JOKES I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. How can one tell that there is a firefighter at a party?He will tell you about it. I lava you. What do you call the heroic fireman who was featured on the evening TV news?"Flamous". It was the sole survivor. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Which superhero was the fire department always trying to recruit? They are also known as firefighters, fire-chiefs, relievers, fire wardens, fire-fighters, stokers, cinder monkeys, smoke-jumpers, engineer's helpers, attendants and firemen. Which superhero was the fire department always trying to recruit?Aquaman. You get down from a duck. Did you hear about the firefighter who quit his job? When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. Joyous, the chemical company president announced that he would double the reward to $200,000 and walked over to personally thank each of the volunteers. Firefighter Joke 16 One day a boy was drowning in a near by lake. These jokes are funny for parents, children, teachers, emergency pesonnel and firefighters. What kind of ears will a fire pumper truck have?They will have safety engin-ears! It was much harder to find sexy accountants, lawyers or plumbers. What did the father reply when the son asked him what the least favorite letter of a firefighter is?He said, "R, son!". Fire Jokes Someone threw my 70s records on the fire. Golf is a lot like taxesyou go for the green and come out in the hole! Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth? A. What should you say when a firefighter is smoking a cigarette? What holiday do firefighters refuse to celebrate? Weird children. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. If you play with fire, you'll end up burnt. That's why firefighter humor is a tradition as old as fire . 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I had to put my foot down. Q. The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be about one line. This week has seen us sitting at home in the evening with the fire lit, so the theme for this week's one liners is Fire Jokes. Fireman Jokes One Liners - Nisura Blog A fire department responds to a fire every 23 seconds throughout the United States according to NFPA. 82.43 % / 3814 votes. God gives them each some wings, with a warning that if they have even one bad thought, they'll lose their wings. A: Bob. I know you guys can help us out. Republicofgilead Blog What kind of web browser do firefighters use?They use Mozilla Firefox! 3. Many of the firefighter uniform puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. 80+ Hilarious New Year's Jokes, Puns and one-liners 2023 What holiday do firefighters refuse to celebrate? 95 Best Fire Puns That Will Lighten Your Mood - O-hand His wife, concerned by his appearance, asks if something went wrong with his game. Three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change out the bulb. What kind of web browser do firefighters use? What was the name of the firefighter who was also a famous soccer coach? ), there definitely are some things that could seem funny about them. Ooops! The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Fireman Jokes One Liners - Yidwithlid Blog These funny fire jokes and puns are so hot! Funny Fire Jokes A police officer says to a couple, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire". I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one. It was mugged. One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Published April 02, 2018 09:40:25. *Y la familia? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean firefighter rescue dad jokes. How do you put out a fire? How are firemen and cops similar to each other? Give a a fire company 3 new tools to try out and after 30 minutes one will be broken one will be lost and the other pregnant. He. What is the main difference between a firefighter and a worker? To my first 9am shift. He says, "its kind of ironic bond". Q: What kind of ears do pumpers have? With gloves. Get EVERY Halloween joke youll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device forever! Funny Firefighter Jokes My granddad always said you should fight fire with fire. Funny Firefighters Quotes Fireman Sayings Phrases 2. 150+ Funny One-Liners That Are Certain to Lift Your Spirits - Wording Vibes Yeah, thats why Im no longer a fireman.". 3 Simple Ways to Create One Liners - wikiHow "Thanks," the girl replied. 33. How do most firefighters do their hair? What do you call a firefighter who got too close to their job? Military personnel share amazing one-liners from drill instructors Take away the fact that there is immense multi-faceted advancement daily, and that feeling remains. Why? As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. How do you put out a fire? You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds. The Chief and his Deputy went golfing together one Saturday morning, as they have done since they were cadets 24 years ago. There are also campfire puns for kids 5 year olds boys and girls. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), AITA? Members of the military bonded over their service and took time to reminisce about harsh words from their drill instructors in an entertaining Reddit Military thread. Why do volunteer firefighters understand the importance of milliseconds? What is the type of award that one should give a firefighter?He should be given an extinguished one! Q: Why do they weigh fire fighters every day? Manage Settings << We have over 150 Categories of Pick Up Lines on our Main Page! 24. If you happen to see a firefighter, please let them know how much you appreciate their service. He felt so relieved to be saved. They must be saved! So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Fire isnt funny, and being a firefighter is one of the worlds most serious jobs. Short Firefighter Jokes One liners, wit and puns, 90 Irresistible Knock Knock Jokes about Food. What did the fireman say to the chairman of the small-town football club, who had asked him to save the cups, when the fire started in the stadium? Flames. From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. Thus its a noble profession that deserves homage. Take away one part of the fire tetrahedron, or the chief. "Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. ", Jose and Josb A man was trapped in a burning building on the 12th floor. Police Humor: 12 Jokes about Law Enforcement and Police Work Why do firefighters wear boots with their uniform? The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles. A coworker is leaving this weekend to become a firefighter. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. What were the two sons of the Spanish firemen named? Then, a smoking hot girl walks by. What's the similarity between a boat, a firefighter and a family? A young girls desire to open her own barbecue when she grows up. Theyre smoking. Did you hear about the firefighter whose wife left him? My Dad used to say "always fight fire with fire", which is probably why he is no longer a firefighter. Wanna slide down my pole. Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. A: Portland Trail BLAZERS. Three Words: Chuck Norris Golf. Q: Why do fire departments have Dalmatians? So that the noise can help to scare away the fire. Neilas often finds himself lost in making music, sim racing, watching movies, TV Series and playing video games in his free time. Firefighter are the guys or gals who couldnt pass the police exam. A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. Whats the most important part of a firefighters work gear that they can never afford to be without? What happens in the Bible right after the burning bush is mentioned? Q. Why do firefighters have a higher rate of cholesterol than other professionals? Their will to succeed. Why dont most firefighters like to put candles on their birthday cake like everyone else? 83.94 % / 1221 votes. When they've caught fire themselves. A: To keep his pants up. How can someone get firefighters to laugh on a Monday morning? What happens if a firefighter throws too many housewarming parties?The police book them for arson! If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. When do firefighters retire? Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? (Racket is another way to say something is loud). Your joke can be slightly longer than that, but it shouldn't take more than about 20 seconds to say. Top 20 Funny Fire Hydrant Pump Puns - Best-puns.com "I have always wondered about when a firefighter loses his job, is he fired, or does he get the ax!". 82.53 % / 355 votes. Let us know what you think! 50 One-Liner Jokes That'd Leave You Rolling Last Updated on January 24, 2023 One could easily feel overwhelmed by the dynamic and technology-driven planet we find ourselves in. How do you know that your child might grow up to become a firefighter? When do firefighters retire? In a press conference between ice and fire, the fire family had a lot of burning questions for the other side. Why did the firefighter wear his gear out to dinner? "You'll just have to learn to be a little patient." If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Why do firefighters like the summer?Because they are used to the heat! "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. Why do firefighters in Greece make every fire worse? Why did the fireman wear suspenders?To keep his pants up. Why was it taking so long for the fire fighters to get to the strawberry farm?There was a traffic jam. 25 of the best jokes and one liners by Scottish comedians What award do you give a firefighter? 91. ", Firefighter, Broker, Waterboy, Machinist, Driller, Embalmer, Goldsmith, Hydrologist, Lifeguard, Naturopath, "So, Timothy, what does your father do ?" A: It takes four. What do you call a firefighter who is really bad at their job? "The fireman said, 'The ladder. Its always good to find out youre going to be working from home.Unless youre a firefighter. Why do they weigh fire fighters every day?So that they know what weight class they should be in. In case you find any flaming cows. So, although we tend to view firefighters as real-life heroes (and rightfully so! (Closed), I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Why does a firefighter love eating Tamale?This is because they are hot! Why dont most firefighters smoke? Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. Firefighters One Liners Jokes Bell System Joke Curvy Brunette Joke Fire Hydrant Joke Front Yard Joke House On Fire Joke Hunting Trip Joke Injured Badly Joke Saint Peter Joke Wall Of Clocks Joke Funny Firefighters Jokes: Q. Clean jokes about firemen, firewomen and fire fighting. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. A sad candy cane. Why does a firefighter love eating Tamale?Because they are hot! Why was the firefighter wearing blue suspenders?Because the red ones were still in the wash! It was sole destroying. Engineers on a train. A week later the building catches ablaze. Why do fireman take out the people from the building before they put the fire out with water? When did firestations become a lot more common in the world? Firefighters Jokes - Fireman Jokes - Jokes4us.com The fire-fighter looked a little closer. Why are elephants excellent choices to be a firefighter or a fire chief? What should you do if you see a firefighter smoking in uniform? Apart from the tactical and physical play that keeps you interested, it also features several humorous jokes that will have you laughing out loud. 1. So why are you so beat? his wife asked. "That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration. Keep it short and sweet so the audience stays on their toes. Interviewer: You're hired. Q: Why are the fires in Athens worse than those in the United States? ~~~ And on the eighth day GOD made firefighters.. Bustin' ourssavin' yours. A fireman kicks down the door of a house and carries the family out 1 by 1, but there is no fire. The firefighter bends over to pick up his wings, and the cop's wings fall off. The children started discussing the dog's duties. (Leans in real close) That means I talk down to people. But the good news is it was an orphanage, so I have no parents to notify". I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. Whats on every fire department menu?Five Alarm Chili. Save the cups cries George. Maybe that's why he got fired from the fire service. El bombero y el barco tienen cascos What happens when a firefighter visits a new place or meets new people? No, said another, hes just for good luck., A third child brought the argument to a close. And you Samantha, what does your father do ?" Related Topics. Now just tell us how to get there.The farmer says, Oh, dont you have that big red truck any more?, "They say if you cant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen Which is why I lost my job as a firefighter. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "False Frugalities": 45 Examples Of People Trying To Save But Actually Losing Money, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Why was the pandemic bad for the firefighters? Short Firefighter Jokes - One liners, wit and puns What award do you give a firefighter? "Little partner," the fire-fighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." ", What comes after a dragon lights his birthday candles?The fire department. Why was the fireman late for work during the power failure emergency?Because he was stuck in the elevator! Caitlin Brink/USMC. I find them hot and leave them wet. 23. A: No, because everyone can jump higher than a fire hydrant (fire hydrants cant jump).